I woke up from a sexual dream in which the participants changed every second. It was an embarrassing subconscious thought that I wouldn't want to divulge in a public journal but might find its way into one of my future fictions. When I woke up, my almost-first thought was about Sex and the City and how, in its final episodes, all four girls are with a man - Miranda ends up married to Steve, Charlotte to Harry, Big will be moving back to NYC to be with Carrie, and the luckiest of them all, Samantha has more than a boy toy, Smith seems a perfect guy (you have to have watched not only the final episode to know what I mean). My current conscious frame of mind denies the need for such relationships. In fact, I proclaimed to everyone I know that I can be forever happy being just healthy and single, and for the first time in all my years, I feel I mean it. However, that sexual dream got me thinking, could I be denying something I secretly wish for? Of course, I'm not going to be thinking of that the entire day as most things that I concentrate on become real - the equivalent of "self-fulfilling prophecy." Well, Sex and the City is fiction and I can't really complain that it does not mirror the reality that most people will not end up with anyone. Four girls in NYC can't mirror the world. (It can't even mirror the real weather in NYC. It's almost always sunny out there!) Still, it's a bit of a letdown for single women who can't or won't find a romantic relationship. They start watching the show and think, "Hey, I'm not alone!" They follow it through to its conclusion and end up wondering, "Will that ever happen to me?" Nothing is perfect; look at my job.

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